10-minute class exercise.

He shouldn’t have tried it on me, he really shouldn’t have. Anyone who comes into my house uninvited is asking for it. This creep climbed in through the bedroom window and I didn’t care if he wanted my body or the contents of my purse; I clocked him with the alabaster lamp base and he went out like the light beneath the shade.

    I didn’t mean to kill the sod, but once done there was not much I could do about it. I shoved him in the hall cupboard until I could decide what to do with him. Three days later I still hadn’t decided and he was beginning to stink. I had to get rid of that smell – it was getting into the linen. On Mondays I do the washing and as I hung it out I had a brilliant idea: I’d hang him out too. A nice windy day like this would air him out and I could keep him hidden for a bit longer; no one would notice him between the sheets.

    It’s not easy to hang a body on the line, even with the help of a stepladder, but I managed it. A push here and a shove there and I had the stiff almost doubled over, even if the rigor mortis had him see-sawing precariously. A few pegs would help but he was too thick for mine so I fastened his clothes instead – four on each sleeve and a few more wherever I could find a spot.

    Good. All done. But I really had to find a good home for him, one that wouldn’t mind if he stank. I had to do it fast, too, because the washing was almost dry. I looked around the yard. Ah, there was a good spot. I’d plant him near the fence where the new bed was going. I’d plant flowers on top – they like a bit of blood and bone – and he’d be coming up roses. Nice perfume on roses.

© Anne Cost. 12.12.2012